Life Goes On

As I sit here waiting for yet another load of laundry to finish washing, I have time to think about all the things that have happened this year and the things that are still to come.

So much sadness, too much heartache and not enough time.

There are things I wish I could do differently, things I would rather not have seen, heard or done and things that I still want to do.

People I wish I could get away from, people I can't live without and people I still have yet to meet.

I feel like I have at times lived 2 or 3 lives just within the span of my one.

So Unworthy

I am unworthy. Unworthy to love, unworthy to live, unworthy to be happy. Good news for me, I have a Savior who died for me so that I can, once again, become a worthy being... Knowing this, I still find myself completely unworthy of everything that has been given to me.

Where Does It All Go To??

So, today is payday... Today is also the day that the bills have to be paid... This morning I was super excited, then I saw what bills were due and that put a serious damper on my mood.

Why is it that the money is always gone before we can spend it on anything else besides bills? You know, like groceries and gas and stuff? Sometimes I hate being a grown-up :(

W-O-W

I have been reading over all my past blogs. Some made me laugh, others made me cry and still others had me scratching my head and thinking, "What was I thinking?". I didn't realize how much I put out there!

Long Days Night

So, I haven't gone to sleep since I went to bed Sunday night. Now that I am sitting still in the couch back at my house, I feel the lack of sleep kicking in.

I've been at the ER with Randy since 4 am. Tried to lay down and go to sleep earlier but just couldn't go to sleep. Got up and came into the living room where Randy was and he asked me to look at something on his foot. Well, that looking at and prodding (just a little bit)ended us up in the ER with him in pain... on the scale of 1-10, he was at a 9! The doctor barely looked at it and said it was an infection?!? I will be calling to get him in with another doctor later today!

Well, I think that I will be off for a little nap before we go for hair cuts at 12:30!

Something to Think About

I wonder if I can get back into this again... We'll give it a shot!

Almost forgot that I had this blog. That's actually kinda sad :(

Life is pretty good. Took Sydney to see Eclipse today. Chris took TJ to see The Last Airbender. We had a good afternoon. The kids both went right to sleep when we got home.

Enough for tonight, REALLY need to get to bed. Getting my haircut tomorrow!!!!!!! Can't wait :)

Life Can Disappoint You

Or rather the people in your life can. We have a family tradition in our house that we started when TJ was a baby. Just after Thanksgiving, we put up our Christmas tree, decorate it adding one new ornament per person to the tree while watching "The Polar Express" and drinking hot chocolate. The kids LOVE it and we enjoy watching them.

A few months ago, we added a new addition to our family, a 19 year old boy. He came from a rough home with no male role model and no parental guidance. We have included him in everything we do and told him about some of the traditions we have. Well, just before Thanksgiving, we set the date to decorate. We had to work it so that he would be off from work that day and we could enjoy the time together as a family. Come to find out this week, he has National Guard duty this weekend, but it would be to where he could still be here. Late last night, he informs us that he HAS to play a basketball game with his Sergent.

After trying unsuccessfully to explain to him how important this is for our family, I gave up on the notion of him being here. It has hurt me deeply that he would choose to play a game that he could play any other time rather that be with us as our family. I realize that growing up, they didn't do stuff together as a family and have traditions, but I foolishly thought that after being with us for 6 months that he would begin to see and appreciate the family bond that we share and have accepted him into. It hurts me, but I can't change the way he had been raised for over 19 years either and expect him to understand all that we do within a short period of time.